


Falling For Her

by AceSparkleGirl



Series: Waking Nightmare [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck, epilouge chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 06:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3165035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceSparkleGirl/pseuds/AceSparkleGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you may have not been the same since your dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling For Her

You had never been one for sleeping, but it seemed that your reluctance to do as such had only grown since your dream. Recently you just laid in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to keep yourself conscious in fear of dreaming. Sometimes you would doze off, and if you were lucky you could gather an hour or so of sleep, but it was never enough.

 

Granted, your severe lack of sleep matched with the paranoia that your nightmare had given you would tip off _anyone_ , you were sure.

 

Terezi was no exception.

 

Even if you had not told anyone about your dream, and you did not _intend_ to, you were pretty sure that Terezi had at least caught onto your strange behavior if nothing else. The way she’d raise her eyebrow in query whenever your hand would tighten around hers if she tripped. How you’d jump at little things and hug her like you were afraid you’d lose her. No matter what you did to try and stop it, you couldn’t _help it_.

 

But no matter what, the two of you seemed to keep to your unspoken pact, and she didn’t question you just as you never questioned her. Sometimes you weren’t sure if you liked that. Every now and then, it was nice to have someone to talk to, but you weren’t sure how to bring it up to her. Maybe she’d get mad, ask you why you hadn’t told her _sooner_. She’d get upset and worried and she’d be on your back every chance that she had to make sure you were still okay. That was the Terezi that you knew, and you were sure that was how it would be. At least, you thought you could be sure.

 

The more time that passed between that dream and _now_ , the more things seemed to be _changing._ Not with her in particular, and not with you-- generally just between the two of you. You weren’t sure if it were bad though, because she hadn’t complained, and it seemed like you were getting along better. It had been strange at first, but after getting used to it, you were sure you had no where to complain. Being unsure of when the last argument you had been through with her proved itself to be a good thing. The time spent with each other was more often than not simply you thanking _everything_ that she was actually _there_.

 

That being said, you were completely sure that you were prepared now more than ever to ask her what you’ve wanted to ask her for _months_ now. Thoughts travelled through your head like trains with crossing tracks, and they’d collide just the same. Small hints would slip out of your mouth every now and then, querying her on whether or not she’s thought about the future. She’d always just laugh, telling you that you’re only 23, and she’s 22, and you’ve got _forever_ to think about things. It was an answer you were never content with, and you would give it time before you asked again, even if you knew you would get the same reply.

 

But now-- things were different now. You had stopped asking the question because you had made up your mind. It took a bit longer than you would have liked, but you were sure that the look on her face when you asked the question of your lifetime would make up for a few extra hours of working.

 

Sitting in your house, your eyes were trained on the ceiling as you thought about Terezi, your fingers tracing over the small velvet box that held the one object that you never thought you’d hold so early in your life. You thought about the way that she’d try to yell at you because you should _know_ better; she’s blind, after all, why would she need such a nice ring if she couldn’t see it? Thoughts wandered to how you’d tell her to shut up, because it was worth it to see her become such a mess of tears over a piece of metal, even when you yourself would probably be trying to keep yourself together.

 

Your stomach knotted up each time you thought about it, convinced that you of all people would find some way to fuck things up with her. You would stumble over words, drop the gift box, _something_. Or maybe you’d get tied up with memories from the dream and you’d lose it over what seemed to be _nothing,_ just as you had done countless times before when she would trip over her own feet.

 

Forcing the thoughts out of your mind, your gaze moved from the ceiling to the television as you sat up, trying to focus on something that wasn’t the _what if_ s and the _could have_ s. Placing the velvet box beside you, you reached for the remote control and flipped through channels, trying to find something to watch. Trying would prove to be the keyword, as there was nothing on television as this time of day. Glancing towards the window, it suddenly came to your attention that it had already started to get dark out. Pushing the shock out of your mind, you looked back at the screen and you sighed. Time flies fast, you supposed.

 

Just as you were about to stand up and head to the kitchen to get yourself something to eat, you felt the cellphone in your pocket vibrate. You jumped slightly as you pulled it out, not even taking a moment to check who was on the other end before you pressed answer. Even then, before you could even manage to say hello, a voice rang through the speaker into your ear.

 

“Karkat!”

 

You blink, a ghost of a smile pulling at your lips as you relax into the couch at the sound of Terezi’s voice. “Hey, Terezi.”

 

It wasn’t unusual for her to call you, but it was her next words that put you on edge.

 

“Listen, how fast can you be here?”

 

You went still for a moment before you stood up from the couch, stumbling over your own feet slightly as you went to grab your jacket from behind you, tugging it over your arms with some struggle as you tried to hold both it and your cellphone.

 

“As fast as usual.. Why? Is something wrong?” You were sure that she, if anyone, could pick out the panic that must have flitted through your voice, but you brushed it off as you heard her sharp laugh break through the electronic in your hand.

 

“No, I just need you to do me a real big favor. Meet me up on the roof of my apartment as soon as you possibly can; the door’s open. Can you do that?”

 

All at once, you went rigid, and you gripped the cellphone tighter to your cheek as you drew in a sharp breath. The roof. _The roof_. Why the roof? Why would she want you to go to the _roof_ with her, of all places? You hadn’t even realized that you’d spoken until you heard her demand that you don’t ask questions, and you frowned. In attempt to change her mind, you spoke up.

 

“Come on, why meet you there? Why don’t you just come over here? I’ll come pick you up, or--” You pause as you hear her groan, followed by a dull sound of impact before she interrupted you.

 

“Come ooon, Karkat, don’t be such a baby. It’s just one time.”

 

You run your free hand through your hair. “Who’s being the baby here, Tez?” you shot back. Pretty sure that she ignored you, you let out an agitated sigh before telling her that _fine_ , you’d be over, and to _not_ do anything stupid. She just laughed at you before chirping out a cheery farewell, informing you that she’d see you soon, and hanging up the call.

 

Shoving your cellphone into your jacket pocket, you looked back over to the couch, and everything clicked. This all seemed like an awful idea. The roof couldn’t be a good place to meet up and you were damn sure of that, but she sounded so _eager_ … And you had a reason to meet her there, even if it was the worst place imaginable for any sort of meet up. 

 

Shuffling over to the couch, you grabbed the velvet box and gingerly slipped it into your jean pocket. If you had to go there, you might as well have something to say to her, and what better time than the present to do what you’d been waiting for weeks to do? Making a grab for your keys, you headed for the door, and it wasn’t until you got into your car that a feeling of nausea settled over you.

 

Sure, you didn't like the sound of it when she was on the phone and suggested the roof, and _sure_ you _tried_ to get her to change her mind, but of course she had not. And now you were agreeing to not only go to her apartment, but the _roof_ of her apartment, which seemed to hold reason for your recent paranoia.

 

 

Hands tightening slightly around the wheel, you put the car into drive, mind swimming as you started for Terezi's. Nothing about this felt right to you. Why would Tereziinvite you to a _roof_ , of all places? She’d always been like.. that, you supposed. Willing to take risks, willing to dive head first into something that may or may not cause more problems than you could ever bring yourself to imagine. Nevertheless, that didn’t ease your panic. All you could think of was the girl who you _love_ falling over the ledge of the roof to her imminent _death_. Something you would never in your life want to experience.

 

You felt like a brick as you pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, and your feet acted as sandbags as you dragged yourself out of the car and inside. The feeling only got worse as you managed up the flights of stairs to get to the roof of the building. Upon reaching the door, your mind was set on nothing but seeing her. Making sure she was alright. Pushing at the bar, you heard a click, and your eyes went wide as they were met with a scene that you could only compare to a cheaply remade scene from one of your many goddamn romantic comedies. You heard her say _something,_ and your eyes went to her. Standing in front of the fold out table, her arms spread out like wings beside her, a grin broad on her face. A wave of relief washed over her face, and you were sure that maybe this couldn’t be as bad as you’d so heavily expected.

 

“Oh my _God,_ Terezi..”

 

As soon as you spoke, the shorter girl started to _ramble_. You heard her talking about how she’d had help, asking you if you liked it, and something about burning food. By this time you were in front of her, and you folded your arms tightly around her in a hug. She seemed to pause for a moment before her arms looped around you. Smiling a bit, you assured her that it was _fine_ , and you were glad that she hadn’t managed to set her entire kitchen on fire. It was a wonder she hadn’t. She laughed, and you smiled a bit more, until she slipped in a quick response.

 

“Good thing I didn’t do that and end up tripping off of the fire escape, huh?” she claimed with a laugh, and you went rigid.

 

 A joke. It was definitely a joke, and you _knew_ it was a joke, but it stung you. You couldn’t shake the feeling of stiffness from your muscles or the nagging worry from the back of your mind. Words left Terezi’s mouth and her arms dropped from around your abdomen.. You could feel her fingers trail down your arm to find your hand, which was squeezed on contact. Blinking eyes fell to her to see that her chin was tilted up slightly to look towards you.

 

“What? No, I’m fine,” you mumbled, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as if to reassure her. Dammit, this was going all wrong and you’d only been here for a matter of minutes. How much could you fuck this up? Offering a smile that you knew would go unseen, Terezi’s face broke out into her usual grin, and for a moment your nerves were eased and everything was fine.

 

The next two minutes were almost mechanical. She told you to _sit down_ , informing you that she got Chinese food, and it was then that you realized just how hungry you were. Moving over towards the table and taking a seat, you feel a bit guilty as you watch her pull up the bag and open it. You should’ve helped. Even as you thought this, you didn’t move. You felt stuck to the cheap plastic beneath you, and it wasn’t until she spoke again, asking if you were alright, that your eyes flickered to look at her.  
  
She asked if you hated her.

 

Eyebrows knitting together, you frown as you try to form a response in your mind. "I _told_ you, Tez, I'm fine,” you insisted, forcing your lips to curl into an almost passable smile. Sometimes you were thankful that she couldn’t see. Her hand moved to the bag and she tapped it, signaling for you to start opening it up. A laugh slips past the faux smile and you grin as you stand up a bit to pull paper containers out of the brown bag.

 

As you’re pulling out the containers of Chinese food, Terezi talks again.

 

"..God, it's cold up here," she mumbles under her breath, letting out a soft chuckle. "Guess I should've thought about that before, huh, Kat?"

 

You pause, placing the last box on the table before falling quiet. Slipping out of the comfortable space between the table and chair, you let yourself move swiftly behind her. Removing the jacket from yourself, you drape it over her shoulders, and you notice her jolt a bit as it makes contact with her. A smile makes its way to your face again, stepping away as she turns her head to look back at you. She thanks you.

 

"..And here I thought chivalry was dead."

 

You were already in your seat by then, and you were caught off guard by the comment. Your retort seems rehearsed. Prefaced by a sharp, hollow sounding laugh, you force a grim smile. "I'd rather _it_ be dead than _you_ ," you mused, and she just laughs. You don’t. It wasn’t a joke. She tells you that she wouldn’t go _anywhere_ , she’s _not_ going anywhere, and you know that. Calming down again, you let out a content hum, going to serve yourself before the girl ahead of you let out a curse. You open your mouth to ask what's wrong, but she speaks before you get the chance.

 

"Ah, shit, I didn't get the beer from my apartment-- I have some water here, but..." she informs you, and at once your mind is swimming. Beer. Drinking. Roof. Your mouth grows dry and you swallow hard before you hear her continue.

 

 "..Do you want me to go get it?"

 

You shake your head quickly, a sharp "No" slipping past your lips as a flicker of panic floods through you. You do not want to drink. You do not want _her_ to drink, and that's why it confuses you as you absentmindedly ask her is if she wants _you_ to get it. She laughs, shaking her head.

 

"Not really in the mood to drink tonight, Kat."

 

Relief floods over you and you smile, finally sure that tonight was going to be fine. Sighing, you tell her that's great, totally fine, and you're sure you sound all too relieved, but even if she noticed, she says nothing.

 

It wasn't long after this that the two of you finally started eating after you pointed out that the food would probably get cold soon. From there, everything ran well. Laughing over food, the two of you talked-- _really_ talked-- for the first time in what seemed like so long. Even though you were talking about things that probably didn't exactly matter, you couldn't find a reason to complain. You _needed_ this, and it really settled on you that you were glad that she'd gotten you to come here. You needed to ask her something anyways.. and there was just one thing left to do. Fingers tracing at the box in your pocket, you opened your mouth to speak before the girl before you drew in a sharp breath and she stood up quickly. You watched as she grabbed her cane and slipped out from the space between the table and her chair. What was she doing? Eyebrows knit together, your heart stops as you see her approach the edge, and your body lifts itself from the plastic chair benrath you, shoving it back. Clattering as it fell,you open your mouth to speak above the noise, but she speaks first. Again.

 

“There’s a _reason_ I called you here tonight, Karkat.”

 

Her voice is eerily calm, and you can tell that she's trying much too hard to act as though she's in a TV drama, especially as she tilts her head up towards the sky. You try to tell her to _get away from the edge_ , but she _doesn't,_ she hushes you, and you wish you could stop time. All at once as she's about to turn to face you, she stumbles. She stumbles and leans back over nothing,  she screams your name,. You see the flash of panic flash across her face, and you trip over yourself as you go to grab her.

 

Your dream. It's just like your dream.

 

She's going to fall, and it'll be your fault. Fingertips graze her skin before you feel your feet catch on the edge, and you feel air brush past you. Her name slips past your lips  just before you feel the back of your knees hit the cement wall. For a split moment, everything goes numb before nothing is under you, and the only clear thing is the wind brushing past you.

 

Maybe you’d wake up from this nightmare too.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, that's it. That's the end of Waking Nightmare. I was sitting there and I thought "Yeah, but how cool would it be if Bitter Lullabies was in Karkat's point of view?"
> 
> So this happened.
> 
> Please direct all complaints to my blog: http://tearezicryrope.tumblr.com/


End file.
